Adventure from the Past: Bourbon, Missouri

Bourbon, Missouri. The name is enough to keep the respectable, God-fearing people away. I went there with some friends from southern Illinois during my tour of duty in St. Louis.

It was Spring Break, 2003. What was the motive behind this mission into the backwoods of central Missouri?

Answer: It was in the middle of nowhere, so there were NO rules.

The plan was to stay at a friend’s (Tim) cabin, on a huge hunk of land his family owned. Above, Tim eyes me suspiciously as I strum my lute, no doubt wondering what kind of hippie he had let come along. In the picture below you can see the cabin itself.
There would be beer, and many, many all-terrain vehicles. That was about the extent of the plan, and my friends were almost losing their minds for the anticipation. The plan didn’t impress me too much to be frank, but I'm not one to miss adventures, so I whole heartedly signed up. Thankfully the rednecks that showed up performed some of the most self-destructive acts I have ever seen. That made the weekend interesting.
I won’t go into too many details on the weekend. You’ve heard all the stories before anyway.

But,..

The highlight of the adventure was when a certain individual, who I will call “Your Buddy” showed up about 10:30 pm the first night. Those of us already at the cabin could here them coming for miles. Screaming, honking, engine reving,… I could almost smell the alcohol on their breath wafting down the valley.

We saw the headlights turn down the “driveway” on the other side of a creek. Then, we saw the headlights go INTO the creek. Your Buddy was attempting to make the most grand and redneck of arrivals at the party by driving down the shallow creek bed. Oh, he was also hauling a trailer loaded down with three ATVs. No big deal.

Long story short, he didn’t make it too far in the creek, and the truck had to sit in the water all night till we eventually got it hauled out the next day.

The only other eventful thing for me that weekend was a new drinking game I learned. Power Hour. First you make a mix tape of some good drinking songs. AC/DC is a favorite of mine, but anything that people can sing along with works well. Each song only plays for a minute. At the end of each minute, you take a gulp of beer. It’s a great game to play if you want to jump around and sing songs like a crazy, which I did that night. A perfect collaboration of beer and music in my opinion.

The night after the Power Hour adventure, I am seen below munching my Cinnabons and tending the fire. If I look pretty rough, it's because I was. You have to pay to play.