A Trip to the Beach: Newport, Oregon

Newport, Oregon: Last weekend in January. Maggie invited me to go stay at a neat hotel on the beach for a night with friends and coworkers. There was a wicked storm raging almost the entire time we were there, which was radical and surreal. Since a "normal" winter day at the beach is usually drizzly and cold, we all secretly hoped that a storm would roll through and give us some excitement. There really is nothing like a powerful winter storm on the Oregon coast. I really do love them.

Ahem.

The Plan: Eat fancy food, drink wine, swim in the pool and hot tub, and generally party down in the hotel room and around the town.

Victory Conditions: Not getting kicked out of the hotel or getting a fight with any Coasties (people indigenous to the coastal region).

The Participants: Myself, Maggie, Princess D, Irish, Wine Boss, and Wife of Irish. I suppose it is timely and fair to mention that Maggie and I have been on a handful of dates, and we plan many more. I'm sure you will hear more about Maggie as we adventure together.

Extras: Sister Sarah, Motorhead, Raisin Face (bartender at the Sand Bar Saloon), many many un-named Coasties, and a host of lesbian waitresses at Georgie's Beachside Grill. We list them in case they happen upon this blog in hopes that they may be mentioned. I don't want anybody to feel left out. However, I offer no explaination of who they might be or what role they played in our adventure.

Final Results and Statistics: Several ruined linens in the hotel due to some rampant misuse of Pinot Noir, one pissed off bartender at a local saloon (Raisin Face), massive consumption of wine and seafood, and a four hour snore war, of which I was a witness, but played no part in.

In general, the entire escapade was an indisputable success.

Pictures and captions:

Some of the gang on the balcony of the hotel room (from left to right): Wine Boss, Maggie, Princess-D, and Irish

A pathetic Michael Jackson impersonation

Princess-D does a clown dance,... and holding TWO glasses or red no less!

Princess-D preaches from the complimentary Holy Bible. We learned how the many gates and walls of Jerusalem were fixed by many people and their sons. Rivetting, to be sure.

Wife of Irish seems to be attempting to photograph husband’s naughty bits
Immediately after Irish had taken a sip of red wine, I said something amusing and he spewed the contents of his oral cavity all over my nice white T-shirt. I am so proud to have such an authentic souvenir of the wine-soaked weekend.