Adventure from the Past: The Middle Sister Challenge
Oregon is great state for climbers. The Coast Range, Blue Mountains, the Steins, and of course the great Cascades all offer opportunities to climb.One of my favorite places to climb is the Three Sister Wilderness. Two of the mountains, South and Middle Sisters, are pretty easy climbs. They’re hikes really, no ropes, no cramp-ons, no technical skills needed. With some endurance and some common sense mountain navigation, you’ll find yourself at the top of a 10,000+ ft peak!
I’ve summited Middle Sister twice now, and South Sister once. Very nice.
For me and some of my friends, the “hike” to the tops of these peaks was a good time, but not a great time. We needed something more, but there were many of us not ready for or committed to becoming technical climbers.
Enter Corley M.
Corley M. is called many things, but “Sane” is not one of them. Corley, who may or may not have had help, conceived the Middle Sister Challenge.
Don’t get this confused with the Easy Cheese Challenge. The Easy Cheese Challenge involves summiting one (or multiple) peaks on a diet of nothing but water and easy cheese.
The Middle Sister Challenge, fortunately, has no dietary restrictions. It is a race, actually, between two teams. One team starts on one side of the mountain, and the other on the opposite side. They race to the peak and then back down the opposite side, ending at the other teams starting point.
A group of six of us formed two teams. Myself, Tim, and Blair on one team. Aaron, Lexi, and Corley M. on the other.
And so it began.
My team started out at a great pace, we quickly reached the base of the mountain and started the steep ascent. At this point we were all feeling well, except for some minor blisters that had been opened up for various reasons. We covered the wounds with duct tape and continued.
The ascent started to take its toll on me. I started to feel crummy, a mixture of what I can only guess dehydration and altitude sickness. Tim charged on like a mountain got shot full of PCP. Blair and I slowly followed.
I started to cramp up in the legs, but pressed on. Tim tried to kill me with a rockslide he started. I pressed on. We summited. I was in quite a bit of pain, but managed to snap some pics and eat some food. We spent a quick 10 minutes at the top and then started down the other side.
I realized around this time that I was in fact dehydrated. We stopped about an hour later at a small mountain creek. We filled up the water bottles and bladders. I drank a bunch. I felt better. The other team (coming up the mountain) spotted us at this point and came over for a quick visit. There was much rejoicing.
We parted ways and pressed on. The sun was now set, and it started to get dark.
The next several hours were a crusade of pain and suffering. I’ll give the highlights in a bulleted list here to save time:-We decided to leave trails behind and “bushwhack” in order to try and cut off a couple miles of distance.

-We found some neat waterfalls in the drainage system we were walking down.
-We climbed down some steep rock faces that, had we fallen, would have meant certain mutilation or even death.
-We didn’t know where exactly we were on the map after about the first hour of “bushwhacking”.
-I lost the map. We were forced to use only a compass to find the trail we had been heading for.
-We walked through marsh and got our shoes and feet soaked.
-Blair claimed several time that he wasn’t going to make it, and to leave him for the cougars. We ignored him.
-We found a trail.
-We followed the trail to the trailhead where the other team had (supposedly) parked their car.
-The car wasn’t there.
-Using Blair’s GPS, and a bit of sleuthing, we found the car.
-We drove to the other side of the mountain to where the other team was camped; I fell asleep behind the wheel as soon as we arrived.
The actual hiking part of the journey took us over 13 hours. We had gone 19 miles, with 2 extra miles of vertical thrown in for good measure. We started at about 1 in the afternoon and finished sometime around 3am.
The other team had finished with a much quicker time, and there was no question that they had won the event, no contest.
However, my team still thinks that in our bumbling, we created for ourselves an epic adventure, never to be repeated. I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
Blair will probably not agree with me on that part. We did almost die,…
This last picture is from a different climb that I did with Tim and two other dudes. It is unrelated, but is good picture of our South Sister summit, with Middle and North Sister behind us.

Blair can be seen sticking strickly to Homebrewing Rule #3 (tacky footwear). 
There’s really not too much to the story. What I do remember is standing in line a lot for the potty. This is standard practice, except this year I had misjudged my bladder capacity, and I was in a bit a pinch. The pain was making my eyes water. As I waited in line, I realized I wasn’t going to make it. I was desperate. I left Sean and ran down the alley.
I knew full well the penalty for public urination. I was told the police keep a strict watch out for people breaking this rule. I was petrified of this as I entered the alley, thinking that I might just have to pay a ticket if it came to that.
The photo above shows the parade itself. You might be able to make out a figure dressed in blue and red marching along in some 5 inch platform shoes. That is Baton Bob (the Ambassador of Mirth as he likes to call himself), local St. Louis legend and hallmark figure of the Central West End (the area of town I lived in). I acutally have an autograph of Bob, signed "The Ambassador" on the front cover of the Riverfront Times. The Riverfront Times is a local alternative newspaper that had recently chosen to photo Bob for the front cover of an issue. I think the autograph will be worth money someday when black men wearing tutus and twirling batons becomes a big thing. Check the Ambassador out at:
By the end of the day, Sean had started to feel his oats, and was last seen walking down the street spreading some sort of gospel to “his subjects”. It was a fine show.
As suspected, the event turned out be just as filthy and grotesque as the year before. Sean was totally satisfied.
Cell phone contact was initiated at about 9:20, and I was given an address to go to. It wasn’t that far away, and by 9:30 I was seen approaching the rendezvous point.
The group assembled, and after a short walk we entered somebody’s apartment. I didn’t know the owners, but I think they may have been related to Trutman in some form or another. Regardless, we jammed into the place and took advantage of whatever booze and food we could find. There were already about 20 people partying in this house, so we were barely noticed.
Heavy drinking commenced about 10:00.
We hung out at this house until just before 11:30. At this time, we decided it was time to go join the madness down near the official area designated for Mardi Gras.
We arrived at the parade route and merged with the wild crowd. Mr. Jim can be seen above, hoisting Trutman’s sister onto his shoulders to aid in her view of the parade. What a noble gesture it was,…
One might think that we had no access to booze at this point. Not the case. Dan’s brother kept a steady flow of some brown poison flowing into our cups. I don’t remember where all the other booze came from, but I do know that there was no shortage.
The parade was winding down at this point, so we started to wander the insane streets to look for trouble and restrooms. This must have happened around 1pm, as I can be seen above escorting our young lady friend down the street away from the parade.
I cannot write with any accuracy about what happened to Dan and crowd at that point, so I will leave that part alone. What I do know is that sometime later that afternoon, Dan’s brother finally decided to “pull the trigger”. It is grotesque to be sure, but I decided to show the picture anyway, as a tribute to Dan’s fine photography skills. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect.


That was always one of my favorite things about this group of dudes. If ANYTHING mechanical or sturctural broke down or had problems, chances were one of these guys could fix it or new somebody who could:
Party Cove: Gateway to Hell. I think I was pretty accurate when I termed it, “Mardi Gras on the water”. Just like Mardi Gras, the beads-for-boobs policy is in full effect. Except here it apparently goes on year round. Don't expect any pictures here though. I've got standards. If you really want to see what this place is like, I'm sure a quick internet search will point you towards what you want to find.
The whole methodology around Party Cove is this: Boats come from all over and line up side by side in two, seemingly endless lines parallel to each other. In between these two rows of boats, other boats and jet-skis “cruise”. Water spraying, drinking, showing off one’s privates,… these seem to be the popular activities. You ask if this is a family establishment? Sure. The couple parked next to our boat brought their three young children and cooked hotdogs. It’s just good clean family fun.
Below the water? It’s not pretty. If you could actually see through the oil slick, you’d find smashed jet-skis, sunken boats, beer bottles and cans, and bodies. Oh, and probably some catfish. Catfish can live in anything I think.
Just getting to the Cove can be a challenge for some. On our cruise to the Cove, The Pony had some trouble navigating some wake of another boat at one point. We took on some water. Dan was at ground zero of the water coming into the boat (see above). He was a bit chilly for a few minutes, but he rallied like a trooper.



For the last few years, I've run with a group of people from work. Our team name is “CH2M Hill Free Chocolate”, and we live up to the name. Hershey’s Kisses fly from the windows of our vans at runners, spectators, volunteers, and anybody else within throwing range. Nobody gets away from us without at least being offered some chocolate goodness. You can see from photo below that we even fastened an enlarged Kiss to the top of our vans this last year so people could recognize us. Thanks for the craftsmanship Robert,..
We are becoming quite famous it turns out. Teams recognize us and remember the free chocolate we handed out in past years. Some people see the van and come running for their free chocolate handout. 
And you would be surprised how much free stuff people want to give to us in return for chocolate handouts! I have personally received a water bottle, Frisbee, Rockstar energy drink, friendship bracelet, and my personal favorite, a Corona. And our “Kiss for a Kiss” policy is always in effect. You give us a kiss, and we give you one in return, *wink*. No takers yet, although we get closer each year as our reputation grows.
But if you can finish this thing, a massive party awaits you Seaside. Live music, food, ceremony, awards, the exciting nightlife of downtown Seaside, etc. Below, you can see Blair enjoying some much deserved brew after completion of his very first Hood to Coast. The stoic Chris Burr sits next to him, enjoying the sunset from a perch in the beer garden.
I have run in the Hood to Coast Relay four or five times now. My first race was in 1998, and every year that I am in Oregon, I try to do it again. In fact, I just sent out our team's $1080 entrance fee check to sign up again for 2006. 

But the day arrived, and we took off. Three of us drove my rental up: myself, Dan (above), and Mr. Jim. Chris and Trutman joined us at the downtown motel on the second night.


Chicago Cool Factor: +1
First, it was up to the top of the Hancock building, the second tallest building in Chicago next to the Sears Tower (which can be seen above, in the photo taken from the Hancock building). It was a grand view. I couldn’t believe how many buildings had a swimming pool on the roof!
Then, we walked down the shore of Lake Michigan for awhile. It was pleasant.
My friends’ favorite exhibit was the one focused on agriculture, with a massive combine and tractor type device as the centerpieces. We frolicked for about an hour on the equipment, like little kids at the playground. Chris and Dan get their kicks in the picture above.
We boarded the “L” and headed back towards our hotel. Lunch/dinner was at Ed Debevic’s, a retro 50’s style place where the help is known for their in your face attitude and wild antics. There is music and often dancing. The waitresses/waiters were clever indeed, but I feel we matched wits with them pretty well. Nonetheless, the food was good and atmosphere was fun.



